Thursday, March 1, 2012

Daddy's Little Girl

I want to start this story off first by talking about my biological father, at least what I can remember.  What I remember most about my dad weren’t so much bad memories, but more sad ones, and especially now that I am older and understand certain events that happen when he was alive. What most comes to mind is how my father always made sure to check up on me and my four brothers and tuck us into bed and kiss our foreheads before he would go to sleep. I also remember when ever I got sick, he would lay me in the sofa as he sat at the end of it with the lights off and listening and singing to his old songs. The last I remember of my dad was when I was 24 years old and he was diagnosed with lung cancer, he lasted exactly six months from the day the doctor told my mother. During those 6 months, it was when my father and I became close. I was pregnant from my 3rd child and also I was living in Boston, MA.  I would travel back and forth to spend time with him and take him to his doctor’s appointment, slept in the hospital when he was admitted. I must say it was bittersweet to see him being consumed by cancer, but at the same time I felt his love, and his need for me to be near.  I believe that one of things my father loved through our bonding was the baseball season and it was the games between the Yankees and Red Socks, oh boy was that something that he loved to do, was to call me when the Yankees were beating the Red Socks. I was never into baseball but I enjoyed it because he made me part of something he enjoyed a lot. I remember when he was a little stronger and I would sit and talk to him, he would rub my belly and he swore I was having another girl, but Joshua turned out to be a little boy. So, here again I needed to go back to Boston for my regular prenatal visit and I told him that I will back as soon as I had my check up and I gave him a kiss on his forehead and I walked away, that was the last day that I saw my father alive, he passed away the very next day. Those 6 months are the most beautiful but heartbreaking memories of my dad and I.  I would of wish to be able to remember more, but unfortunately there weren’t many good memories to share, but this I know that writing this story, I realized that the last months of my father’s life, he wanted me to be part of everyday that he lived. I think that was a way for my father to express his love for me and letting me know that I was “Daddy’s Little Girl”

Now I want to share with you my story with my Heavenly Father. One late evening, I was laying in my sofa, with my eyes close and just having a casual conversation with my heavenly father and I said, “Father, I wish I can feel what it is to be “Daddy’s little girl” and a for a few moments there was a silence and than there before me stood my heavenly father with his hand reaching out to me and said, “come with me, I want to take you somewhere” and as I got up, I took 2 steps with him and I saw myself in this beautiful Garden, full of colorful butterflies and flowers, birds of all types, swans in the lake, whipping willows trees everywhere, oh it was such amazingly beautiful and the scent of so many flowers filled this garden with an aroma of love, it was breathtaking, and the chirping of the birds was like magical music that filled the air with peace. All this filled my heart and soul with so much excitement and as we walked, I saw a few steps ahead of us a tree with my name on it and I said, “Father, my name is in this tree and all those quotes in the leaves” and he said “yes, this tree was specially made for you and all the quotes is all you mean to me.  Oh at that very moment I was filled with so much love and I ran to the tree and on the ground was a big gift box wrapped in beautiful pink wrapping paper and it had my name written on it and I looked up and said, “is this also for me”?  He said “yes, it is… it was hand picked and tailored by me….. Go ahead-- open it”! with excitement I ripped up the box and as I opened it, inside was the most stunning, amazing, most beautiful princess dress and as I looked up to my father, my eyes were filled with tears and with a smile, he said…”let me help you put it on”, oh how beautiful was I in this pink princess dress and my father took me in his arms and with the music of the birds, he danced with me as the butterflies and birds flew all around us and I said….”oh daddy I am so happy” and he said….”that is my job to make my little girl happy”. As I looked further into the garden, I saw a well, beautifully dressed in bows and ribbons and I said, “father what is in this well” and he said, “those are all your tears, did you not know that I have counted every tear of joy and sadness you’ve cried, I have kept my eyes on my little girl, I have never forgotten you nor will I ever forsaken you. You are the apple of my eyes, you see my little girl, before I formed you in your mother’s womb, It took me days of preparation, I wanted to make sure to pick out the perfect nose, the perfect eyes, your fingers, your feet, the color of your hair, your voice, in my excitement of knowing that my precious little girl was soon coming into the world as Maribel. I wrote beforehand your life and the service that you were going to do for the rest of your sisters. In those tears has built your strength, love, perseverance, passion, desires and most of the love for the lost. You are not a duplicate, your uniquely and wonderfully made as one in me, because you are” “Daddy’s Little Girl”.
I want to dare and say that many women like me still yearns to be loved and feel like “daddy’s little girl” In the natural our father’s would love us, but our heavenly father’s love is unconditional. His love has no measurements, no time and no limits and absolutely no restrictions. The way that he loves us is higher than the highest heaven and deeper the deepest sea, we would never be able to comprehend such love in the natural. I believe and dare to imagine how God took his time with much enthusiasm to create each and everyone of us with so much perfection, because remember our GOD is a GOD of perfection, he made everything perfect under the sun and in the heavens. Nothing was overlooked by him. He made sure that when he created women, it was in the image of the most beautiful part of his emotions. I can see him, sketching, drawing, coloring, sculpturing each of us in his image and all uniquely created with special gifts and talents. I also want to go furthermore and say that when God created Eve, he knew that the earth was going to be filled with his glory in each of us and the miraculous beauty of his creation was about to expand throughout the world.

Written by Maribel O’Neill-Castillo

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